The Gist

Erasure lyrics earn you A's in Honors English

2005-12-28T09:11:00.000-08:00

Time for Did you know?! with your host sebast.

Good morning, DID YOU KNOW that i used to plagerize Erasure songs for poems in Honors English! I got an A every time. Haha Suckas!

Thats the gist!

House M.D is edgy

2005-12-27T18:27:00.000-08:00

I just heard the guy that plays house on House M.D. mutter the words "Bros before Hos".

That's the gist!

Happy Festivus

2005-12-24T22:20:00.000-08:00

I have an ipod. 60gb, video, yeah thats right suckas.

That's the gist!

There aren't any egyptians at Magic Island

2005-12-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

So i went there for my fiancee's xmas party expecting to be bedazzled by the mysterious cuisine and entertainment of Egypt's finest. But it just wasn't in the cards. First off, the "valet" company they hire are a bunch of losers that dont even wear uniforms. After that, there is a woman who offers to take your picture for probably 10-15 dollars by a brass cobra whos eyes dont even glow red. BOO. Then we had a cocktail hour where i was informed that it was OPEN BAR. That was the only way i was able to make it through the rest of the night. Mexican waiters, soggy salad, crappy surf and turf, and NO EGYPTIANS. The magic show was meh, the card tricks and matrix fork bending routine was ok. All in all, I would say 100 bucks per couple is a rip. The only reason i would ever go back is if I were dressed as Indi and my fiancee would agree to dress up like a little boy w/ baseball cap and refer to me as "Docta Jones!" I would whip the workers with my whip until i got thrown out.

That's the gist!

La Strada Belini's Aren't Weak

2005-12-11T18:00:00.000-08:00

Fuckin' A. I can drink vodka all day long, but those bellini's are freakin strong. I thought something was wierd when Sylvia was at the cage cashin' in her chips early, but i soon figured it all out when i got home. 2 hours later, and im STILL buzzin balls. Can't believe i put it off this long.

I'm going to LaStrada atleast once a month for my newest club. The Sunday Drunken La Strada Club. This one is easy, members just eat and get sloshed. Then we share dirty jokes and
"This one time.." stories. Then it becomes a make out party on the patio. Wahoo!

That's the gist!

Nobody cares about the billboard music awards

2005-12-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

I watched part of them last night. I was embarrased for LL cool J. He gave 50 cent an award for best ringtone. Man, thats lame. Then he called 50 on his tmobile phone, and we all heard his half ass speech which i interpreted as, "i dont care."

i need cable...

That's the gist!

I almost banged Eliza Dushku (warning dirty post!)

2005-12-04T20:09:00.000-08:00

Last nite in a dream. man it was hot. I always wake up right before I get to have sex. boo. the other night i almost banged Jessica Alba, but she was making me pull popsicle sticks out of her butt. I never have sexy dreams, whats the deal? I think Jessica is hot, but Dushku? Dirty...

I crashed my old companys xmas party last friday. It was pretty weak. The bar only had smirnoff vodka. I had to walk all the way to the real bar for a drink. It was fun seeing my old coworkers though. I bailed early when the old people started dancing.

I volunteered at the special olympics bowling tournament this past saturday. I am going to volunteer more often, it really is very rewarding. I got attatched to my bowler, Jeremyer. Hes in a wheel chair and needed a special rail thingy so he could just push the ball and it would roll down into the lane. We got 2nd! Wahoo!

Thats the gist!

Celebrity Lookalikes at 24 hr fitness

2005-12-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

Today at the gym i saw Tia Carrera and Robert DeNiro. They work out at my gym. When i was doing my shoulders, i pretended that I was Andy Garcia, and all the hot women in the jazzercise room are looking at me.
After that I met Hoolio at Sasu sushi bar and talked about the times we got beat up in high school. I should be dead by now, but i have a silver tongue. The only time i got hit was because i didnt get a chance to open my mouth.
I keep borrowing bottle rocket. I need to just buy it already. That scene where the indian guy apologizes for not opening the safe makes me pee in my pants. "i dont know, blew it man". hahahaha. oh.. im very upset right now
That's the gist!

Vodka + Book Club

2005-11-30T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am starting a Vodka & Book club. In it, members meet once a month to review a bottle of fine european\california (yes california) Vodka, and a good book. We open the meeting with a quick discussion of the vodka provided for that meeting (each month a different member brings a different bottle), then we open it and toast, then we tell funny stories and one liners. After that, we begin to talk about the book. What we liked, what we didnt like, blah blah blah. After that, we turn the lights down and it becomes a make out party. Please bring your own towel. Hmm, perhaps i should change the title. On the way out, we vote on the book for next month, and everyone goes home.

That's the gist!

Girls say annoying things

2005-11-23T10:38:00.000-08:00

In order from least (5) to most (1) annoying.

5. What do I tell people when they ask about us?

4. Can we take pictures at JC penny?

3. Who was she?

2. You said we were just gonna cuddle...

1. Does this mean were going out?

oh, and i have a miniature pinata on my DESK!

That's the gist!